So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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