It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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