Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
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WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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