i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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