yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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