is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize