what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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