Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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