if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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