the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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