the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize