Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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