there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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