Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize