u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize