oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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