found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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