I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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