Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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