After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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