so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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