I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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