you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize