Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize