I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize