i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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