I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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