it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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