I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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