my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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