I heard we made out
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize