I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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