so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
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And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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