I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize