U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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