i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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