I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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