So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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