You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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