Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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(586): View more from Michigan

on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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(956): View more from Texas

Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life

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(641): View more from Iowa

My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.

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(813): View more from Florida

If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming

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(402): View more from Nebraska

tell me about the eggs

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