Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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