Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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