He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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