the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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