I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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