matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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