please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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