I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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