i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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