I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
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I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize