"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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