I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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