Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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